Tolerance...or apathy...or weakness...I'll take forgiveness.

I'm back I decided to get over my pity party.

Tolerance....not to be confused with compassion...

My savior was compassionate his ability to love leaves me in awe on a daily basis as I struggle to love my fellow men,  he loved yes with a love the world will never see again..but he did not tolerate. Jesus is every bit God as he was man... And our God is a jealous God.

Tolerance....or apathy? I am judged because I think homosexuality is wrong. I am judged because a fellow Christian handled himself poorly when trying to reach out to a homosexual...one church one leader makes a choice that reflects the brokenness of human nature and I am judged with that person simply because I am a Christian. I'm called close minded because I see abortion as  murder when I think of the number of unborn children killed a day while my womb remains barren...and my heart breaks.

Where is tolerance now?

I'm judged simply because I am a Christian...I am scoffed at, made to feel ridiculous because I follow someone whos last words were begging for the forgiveness of the people killing him...who's last instructions were to "Go and make disciples"

I'm told to be tolerant by the very people who call me blind and foolish for my belief in Jesus..is that then what tolerance is?

In the end it won't matter we all will stand before God and we all will have to give account of our lives. And none of us are worthy with out Jesus. And I if I'm going to be judged regardless of speaking out or not. I might as well stand by and live showing my beliefs.. Because I am equally passionate about my faith as you are about diversity, tolerance, peace. I was not called to become apathetic to appease and tip toe around those who might be offended by my Jesus. I'm not part of a specific religion because I think it better then any other. I am not blind to the horrible things that have been done in Jesus name or for the sake of Jesus...no, I am merely reminded that all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. Oh, and looking at the world I thank God for his redemption, his unfailing love...

Tolerance...apathy... Forgiveness...

I've just as much right to "Go and make disciples" as anyone has to lump all Christians in a group and label them judge mental, close minded, one sided, hypocrites, old fashioned...

Because though out all time in one way or another since Jesus sent those first Christians out into the world Christianity has survived...and remained in its basic principles the same..name one other flowing religious group god, myth, spiritual leader that has transcended all time.

Yes I. Am. A. Christian.

I will tolerate the sinner but I can not tolerate the sin and deny my God.

Amen.

Overwhelmed or letting down my guard?

I know its been a while and I could go about making excuses that I'm so busy so tierd...but honestly I've noticed if my blogs become less then once a week, I'm usually slaking in my spiritual walk as well. Like I'm in this pit and can't get out...haven't been reading my bible doing my prayers or even thanking him for all the blessings he's been pouring out. Then tonight as I sat here on Facebook complaining to a friend I'm feeling so "overwhelmed" packing, moving, summer program set up, lesson planning for next year...and in that moment as I waited for what would be a encouraging word it hit me...well duh...I've been givin all these blessings and answered prayers and instead of sitting down and thanking God for them and asking forhis continued guildence I've fallen into the pattern of, well things are looking up I don't need God...

It's in the quit of the night in the sound of the rain falling on the cold metal box outside my window that I realize.. Of course I'm over whelmed I'm trying to do every thing myself...when I really need to give it it God.

Yes, it starts with picking up my bible...it starts with a simple thank you and and filling up of Gods grace and peace... It's a thought pattern a voice in my head that says..come to me...that becomes a scream as time passes and ignore it...and eventually when we've gone so far to long..though never out of reach..it becomes a battle cry..."Be still and know that I am God and I'm be by your side...

And that is an encouraging thought.

Amen.

It is well with my soul

Ever feel like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders? Ever think your heart can't break more in this broken sin filled world and the you listen to others and you know...they are hurting too....

The choices we make in things to share and things to keep to ourselves..and the utter lonlieness that coincides with keeping the hurt of others and the hurt in your own life to yourself.

It's so easy to become wrapped up in your problems, how scary or bad things are for you and walk right past someone else that is hurting too...

Finding out you may not be able to have children
Being helpless as the child in your tummy struggles for continued life...
Being so broke that you are starving yourself so your kids can eat
An unwanted pregnancy
A failed marriage

So many things can turn the mind from this to that and the world is lost in a heart beat...

Does our father call us to have a spirit of fear? Or are we to take heart because he has overcome the world? Does he walk with you through the valleys...something's in this life are going to get you down..and satan is going to try to keep you there; never mind the good you have in your life..never mind the blessing after blessing God has poured out on you..even in your poverty barrenness, sickness...

So, ill pick up my cross daily..and this little light of mine, weak with weariness and sadness...I'm
ganna let it shine and in the face of change cling to the promise of a lifetime...

As I've been driving home the great commission to my three year olds these last few weeks, as they are sent of to have reinforced these truths and stories..as we sing this little light of mine...I know I want to let it shine, I want to say it is well with my soul..

Because if you repeat something often enough the words can become truth...the power of words..to cut or to heal...to sing to weep, to break down and to build up...all with nothing more then words...as you stand toe too toe with the brokenness of the world.


When peace like a river attended my way
When sorrows like sea billows roll, yeah
Whatever my Lord, Thou hast taught me to say
It is well, it is well with my soul, yeah

My sin, oh the joy of this glorious thought
My sin not in part but the whole, yeah
Is nailed to the cross and I bear it no more
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, oh my soul

Lyrics from eLyrics.net

Satan is here....

Watching the Devil work in my friends lives has really set me on edge these last few weeks, with so much good going on in mine, I feel like an attack on me is coming as well. I feel it in the stress in my belly and the tension in my head, I'm not even sure what I'm stressed about. Whats running through the back of my mind.

I see people falling further into the worlds brokenness  and not understanding why they don't have peace. yes they are happy, and kind (but acts of kindness are not the way to heaven some of the nicest people I know don't believe in God and consequently if nothing changes they won't be in heaven) and again my heart breaks.....but deep down these people are not at peace, and no amount of working out, drinking, drug, mindless sex or socializing is going to bring it. Sometime I watch the world, the news, facebook status..and my heart breaks....

I see friends who have just turned to God, or who are just coming back to him I see them on fire, excited, healing and I watch as the world caves in...temptations, sometimes things you can't even seem to control to turn the mind from this to that. A choice to move in with your boyfriend, unexpected tickets, or breakups or deaths, or household changes. I see excuses and justifications "it makes sense, I can't afford to go,

sin's got the lead....

and my heart breaks

when all I can do is pray, and we live with the choices we make.

and as I watch the devil parade in front of me all the people I love hurting...I can't help but wonder..who is he parading me in front of. If the world is a stage for who am I performing? Because if it's not for God then Satan wins, if I'm made out by the world to be stupid for believing in the promise of heaven...and I don't reach out in love....then I am nothing.

So as I watch the brokenness of the sinful world turn ever on..."this little light of mine, I'm ganna let is shine" and maybe just maybe like a lighthouse at the end of a pier I'll lead someone lost to safety for I'm only a reflection of God. if my life can be but a fraction of what Jesus was then I am blessed indeed.

So as the world turns, and satan waits at your door like a lion to devour you...remember you are a REDEEMED child of God...bought at a price and NOTHING can separate you from the love of Christ, there is no sin to great (for all are the same in Gods eyes) no depth to deep that you can't be made white as snow...because our Father is there ready and willing to shower you with blessings...and the promise of heaven...

Amen.