Hi I'm Leah, I have student loan debt. I've been paying on them since 2009 have not missed a payment have not used forbearance. My original loan amount on one of my 2 loans was $8,300.00. Today my balance is 7,774.00 I've payed $ 119-133 a month for 10 years. Do the math I've paid something like 14K on a 8K loan.... That's not what I signed up for. That is only 1 of my loans not counting my husbands loans. We are in a scary amount of debt and if the math looks like that on all of them its soul crushing. That is NOT my fault. Telling me I should not have took on the debt in the first place is not helpful. If anything its hurtful.
I worked hard through college I did community college for 2 years and had 3 part time jobs. I might have gone out of state, I might have got a useless degree but I also didn't take out loans for all 4 years so I feel I'm allowed a couple bad decisions. I love teaching, If I hadn't gone away I would be a very different person today. I would not have met my husband, I would not have my daughter. I would not have had the experience and the social growth I had finally leaving my parents. College is still the best time of my life and I'm loving parenthood. Yes I have debt. Debt I was told I would be able to pay off in 10 years. (which I did by double the amount) Debt that the interest rate has gone up, up, up and my balance hasn't gone down. Being told it's my fault and I should have worked harder through college and after is a pretty crappy thing to say to someone.
So before you throw up another go to trade school post. Remember if everyone went to trade school you would have no doctors, no teachers, no social workers, no human services. Just be happy your passion and likes happened to be something you could pursue through trade school. I'm glad you don't have the cloud of debt hanging over your head. I wish it on no one. Yes I plan on encouraging my daughter to go to a community college or a trade school and work hard. I will not ask her to compromise on her dreams or her passions, I hope to set her up for a future that doesn't look like mine because honestly mine sucks.
Why do we have to focus so hard on the negative or the self?" Look at me I have no student debt because I went to trade school," "I got through school on scholarships. why didn't you? it can be done." Not everyone has equal opportunities in life and most do the best they can with what they have. So before you judge me or anyone with student loans take a second and realize you don't know all the facts you don't know what they had to work with. You don't know how many scholarships they applied for and didn't receive. You don't know what learning disability they have struggled with effect grades and test scores. You don't know ANYTHING.
I'm all for educating people on the troubles with debt. However, ,I'm not for making those that have debt feel worse for something I'm sure makes them feel bad enough already. For something they struggle with every single day. Lets change the way banks and government operates lets talk about what can be done for those struggling and for the future so the next generation doesn't have to. Lets encourage one another not judge. I'm not asking for hand outs but at 14K paid into a 8k loan I feel like I've done my share....
I'm happy student debt is part of the presidential discussion because I was lied to, I've worked hard to pay it off and I have nothing NOTHING to show for it in 10 years and my personal debt is much smaller than the average. No I'm not writing this so you feel bad for me. I just want you to stop and think before you enter the conversation on student loan debt and to remember to focus on encouragement, understanding and better future for everyone.
Yes my parents encouraged college, and if they could have helped me they would have in a heart beat. They simply wanted more for me then they had a neither went to college. They started the change the best they could. All 3 of their children got a college degree. Its got to start somewhere.
No debt is ever good. I wish I had grown up knowing that. My daughter will.
It stops here.
Thursday, August 15, 2019
Monday, August 5, 2019
Company is coming.
I don't know about anyone else, but I use to freak out when I knew anyone was coming over. Maybe I get it from my mother or it’s that social anxiety thing. Company is coming? Que... crazy cleaning lady. Clean clean clean clean clean...everything. The stress the exhaustion. I truly admire those people who are like eh, I live here, life is busy, let them judge. I just can’t do it. I’ve tried and I think that was worse then the running around in privet cleaning. I will admit more often then not I would just get out boxes and shove things into them to get out of the way while company was here. Then one day after company had left and I groaned at having to find something I needed it clicked. This is stupid. Not because I shouldn’t want to have a clean house, or impress company. This is stupid because it’s not sustainable, it’s not healthy, and it turns me into a miserable person who makes everyone in the house miserable. I would be so exhausted I could hardly enjoy my friends and family when they arrived.
Stuff=Anxiety
That’s important to know my anxious friends.
and we all know I’ve been trying to respect myself and my triggers.
I don’t do that anymore. I’ve had people drop in last minute all summer and guess what it’s no problem. At this moment I am waiting for company to arrive and I’m not running in circles cleaning. No more boxes shoved in the other room for this mamma. I haven't done that once in 3 months. My daughter is napping and instead of having to use this precious quit time doing chores. I can type a blog and play on my iPad. (Trying to not use phones and such when she’s around a big push to be present. No she does not get all my attention all the time that’s not healthy for anyone, but that’s a whole different blog that will be along soon)
So the effort was made to figure out what could be done different. As I said in a earlier post de-cluttering “minimalism” has already been a part of our marriage journey. The more stuff we let go of the less stuff we have to take care of...
Stuff=Anxiety
My kitchen is huge and I would say half of the cupboard space is empty. Counter-tops are mostly clear. 3 months ago it was taking me an hour and a half to clean my kitchen (that’s with a dishwasher) but I was determined to go to bed with a clean kitchen and I've done it with out fail for 3 solid months. Now it feels wired to even try to go to bed with it not clean. There have been a couple nights I wasn't feeling well and my amazing husband did it. It wasn’t fun my husband even teased me about my “favorite pass time” but waking up to a clean space has really changed my life and my mood in the morning. I can enjoy my coffee and not worry about the mess on the other side of the wall I have to clean. I soon realized just taking all that time to clean was helping yes, but I was still miserable. How can I make this take less time? Another round of letting go happened and this one was a little harder but decorations I didn’t love but I did like were removed. Items that I use to use all the time but haven’t in a year or 6 months left. It didn’t matter if they could be seen or not. Things as simple and putting the knives in a drawer and the huge ugly block in the donation bag. The bag of coffee, and a stick of butter use to sit on the counter I bought matching simple ceramic containers to store them in on my counter. Now if it’s sitting on my counter it is used daily. I’m not a big entertainer so removing extra dishes was easy (less dishes the less could pile up) I realize that doesn't work for normal people. The glory of minimalism is it can be what works for you. I kept enough for a setting of 6. It may drive other people nuts to try to cook in my kitchen but it works for me. I’ve found I’ve wanted for nothing. A couple of times i have opened the cupboard for a cup and they were all dirty and I was a little annoyed. I just washed a cup and life went on. Last night I timed it without even doing the little bits through the day, the "before bed clean up" took 20 minutes. Just 20. Sustainable.
My kitchen is amazing right now and that’s after making breakfast and lunch for myself and my daughter. With maybe a 5 min clean up after each. Everything has a place, and everything I have is needed and used and loved. (With the exception of the mixing bowls and ceramic cook wear on my new open shelves, those were my grandmothers and they are so special. By letting other things go I now have the space to display them! (Minimalism isn’t about getting rid of EVERYTHING and living out of a backpack, unless of course that's what minimalism looks like for you then go for it. I personally like having a T.V. And a table and books) it’s about sustainability. Reduce and Reuse is focused on more than Recycle.
Stuff=Anxiety
Less stuff=less anxiety.
We have a one year old and only 2 cabinets in our entire house are baby proofed. That’s it. if she gets in any others she might make a mess, or find them empty, but she is safe. I complained the other day my house is to big. I look forward to someday having a smaller space (no I don’t want a tiny house)
Last night I learned company was coming. In that time I've spent no more than 30 min preparing my house for it. That is sustainable, I've maintained this for 3 months and yes I'm not working full time BUT that just means I'm in my house full time. More meals cooked in the kitchen more time spent in the living room...more potential for mess. Other then my daughters toys around which can easily and in less than a minute be placed back into their basket, no messes. Not enough to make a mess so big I can't clean it up. Not so little stuff that we are suffering. My house is my happy place, full of peace, calm, and simplicity. LIFE CHANGING. morning coffee is so relaxing (unless baby girl wake early and even then its not that bad)
Stuff=Anxiety
(other things do as well but this one is one of the few I can actually control that's a freedom in itself.
Is my house spotless, no, its lived in. It just no longer makes me anxious.
Living life well with less.
Stuff=Anxiety
That’s important to know my anxious friends.
and we all know I’ve been trying to respect myself and my triggers.
I don’t do that anymore. I’ve had people drop in last minute all summer and guess what it’s no problem. At this moment I am waiting for company to arrive and I’m not running in circles cleaning. No more boxes shoved in the other room for this mamma. I haven't done that once in 3 months. My daughter is napping and instead of having to use this precious quit time doing chores. I can type a blog and play on my iPad. (Trying to not use phones and such when she’s around a big push to be present. No she does not get all my attention all the time that’s not healthy for anyone, but that’s a whole different blog that will be along soon)
So the effort was made to figure out what could be done different. As I said in a earlier post de-cluttering “minimalism” has already been a part of our marriage journey. The more stuff we let go of the less stuff we have to take care of...
Stuff=Anxiety
My kitchen is huge and I would say half of the cupboard space is empty. Counter-tops are mostly clear. 3 months ago it was taking me an hour and a half to clean my kitchen (that’s with a dishwasher) but I was determined to go to bed with a clean kitchen and I've done it with out fail for 3 solid months. Now it feels wired to even try to go to bed with it not clean. There have been a couple nights I wasn't feeling well and my amazing husband did it. It wasn’t fun my husband even teased me about my “favorite pass time” but waking up to a clean space has really changed my life and my mood in the morning. I can enjoy my coffee and not worry about the mess on the other side of the wall I have to clean. I soon realized just taking all that time to clean was helping yes, but I was still miserable. How can I make this take less time? Another round of letting go happened and this one was a little harder but decorations I didn’t love but I did like were removed. Items that I use to use all the time but haven’t in a year or 6 months left. It didn’t matter if they could be seen or not. Things as simple and putting the knives in a drawer and the huge ugly block in the donation bag. The bag of coffee, and a stick of butter use to sit on the counter I bought matching simple ceramic containers to store them in on my counter. Now if it’s sitting on my counter it is used daily. I’m not a big entertainer so removing extra dishes was easy (less dishes the less could pile up) I realize that doesn't work for normal people. The glory of minimalism is it can be what works for you. I kept enough for a setting of 6. It may drive other people nuts to try to cook in my kitchen but it works for me. I’ve found I’ve wanted for nothing. A couple of times i have opened the cupboard for a cup and they were all dirty and I was a little annoyed. I just washed a cup and life went on. Last night I timed it without even doing the little bits through the day, the "before bed clean up" took 20 minutes. Just 20. Sustainable.
My kitchen is amazing right now and that’s after making breakfast and lunch for myself and my daughter. With maybe a 5 min clean up after each. Everything has a place, and everything I have is needed and used and loved. (With the exception of the mixing bowls and ceramic cook wear on my new open shelves, those were my grandmothers and they are so special. By letting other things go I now have the space to display them! (Minimalism isn’t about getting rid of EVERYTHING and living out of a backpack, unless of course that's what minimalism looks like for you then go for it. I personally like having a T.V. And a table and books) it’s about sustainability. Reduce and Reuse is focused on more than Recycle.
Stuff=Anxiety
Less stuff=less anxiety.
We have a one year old and only 2 cabinets in our entire house are baby proofed. That’s it. if she gets in any others she might make a mess, or find them empty, but she is safe. I complained the other day my house is to big. I look forward to someday having a smaller space (no I don’t want a tiny house)
Last night I learned company was coming. In that time I've spent no more than 30 min preparing my house for it. That is sustainable, I've maintained this for 3 months and yes I'm not working full time BUT that just means I'm in my house full time. More meals cooked in the kitchen more time spent in the living room...more potential for mess. Other then my daughters toys around which can easily and in less than a minute be placed back into their basket, no messes. Not enough to make a mess so big I can't clean it up. Not so little stuff that we are suffering. My house is my happy place, full of peace, calm, and simplicity. LIFE CHANGING. morning coffee is so relaxing (unless baby girl wake early and even then its not that bad)
Stuff=Anxiety
(other things do as well but this one is one of the few I can actually control that's a freedom in itself.
Is my house spotless, no, its lived in. It just no longer makes me anxious.
Living life well with less.
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