Thursday, March 28, 2013

Thinking about the Passover...

The last supper....

How Jesus longed to have that time with his disciples to try to leave them what he he hosted and washed their feet knowing that in hours they would abandon him, deny him...

All Jesus had to leave behind we're his words and his followers hands. He didnt even have a pillow on which to lay his head.  Seriously think about what the last supper is? It's a celebration of the Passover where the people of Israelites enslaved by the Egyptians had to sacrifice a lamb so the angel of death would not take their first born...

Jesus...the sacrificial lamb the first born of God...perfect... He knew and still he served. Do you think the disciples at ought months years down the road ever fully realized the mind boggling events of that night?  Do you even get it as you come before The Lord to take the body and the blood for the forgiveness of your sins?

We all want to complain how hard life is....but none of us have had to walk the path Jesus walked nor will we ever. His friends betrayed him, his father left him went to hell, and he lost his life all in the same 48 or so hours...

And for what? For the people that killed him, the people that sin time after time after time that to this day break his heart...he died for them

He died for you...I don't feel like is drove that point home to the kids enough this week. Do they even understand what things are sin....then again do we?

Lord give me a humble heart and the grace to make wise choices in this life. Thank you for the gift the promise of a life to e we gain through the agony your son suffered on the cross. We all have sinned and fallen short...and we all have been forgiven...alleluia Amen.

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Isaiah 43

Isaiah 43

Why don't you get out your bible and read through it. The promises God made to his people never stop amazing me...and to take those covenants and promises and know they are for me as a

Isaiah 43:2-3
When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.
 For I am the Lord your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;

Verse two just touches my heart what ever it is your dealing with in your life...or waiting for or longing for or scared off...he WILL be with you...oh the assurance in those words the peace Amd strength they offer.

If God can comfort me what's it going to take for me to pass it reach out.

Sometime my job is so when parents come to me impressed because their child knows that Jesus died on the cross and what that means for's the most important story I can share with them and to hear how excited they are...

When in my life did that leave me? The simple uncomplicated joy and wonder in my savior...yes I have a deep love but to jump up and down and say he died so we can go to heaven....just wow. For I am The Lord your God the holy one of Isreal..

Oh and I'm thankful for the children who teach me every day what It means to love God all the way...and I'm so very blessed to share my deep love for our savior each day with children who have no fear of sharing that message with anyone.

So yeah today like most days didnt go according to plan....but today is the day The Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it. For my God will never leave me.


Breathe in the joy of Easter...and the forgiveness of your sins.

Sunday, March 24, 2013

Praise the one who breaks the Darkness...

We have entered my favorite week of the year...the walk with God to the cross and Easter Sunday. This week of reflection on our lives the past and the life of our savior. The music, the hope...the promise of a life time. Of new things...spring.

Spring in the city has always been the hardest for me. I think I can take most any other time of the year okay but spring...breaks my heart in the city.  but Easter the hope the peace the passion...

So many chances worship and reflect and a good time to slow down and realize how very very blessed you are. As much as I long for the country side now and, I'm sure I will be over the next couple months..I know that there I would not have my church...the blessings of song and the talent and the fellowship...when I sit down and look at it. This prospect of moving out of the city back to my roots...sure I'm excited...and at the same time sad because I have to give up my church...

However, if I look at that statement...I'm sad because I have to give up my church where Im Comfortable just think of what I could try to bring to my old church...and I know that I only long to stay for selfish reasons...I know at some point you have to leave the comfort zone to grow Gods kingdom...just like leaving WLC.  You can take take take but eventually you have to give back....and who has made any sort difference in the world by being comfortable....

Yes I'm Hopeful in the future; if it works out for us to move..yes I'm scared, yes I'm uncertain...and if it turns out God wishes for us to stay longer...then we will stay.  I know it's not going to be perfect and I have no illusions about what I will miss from the city life...

But I just feel called to do more, to walk a little closer to God and a little farther from myself. No I have no wish to be uncomfortable, but if that's what it takes to do his will....then he will give me enough for each day...and never more then I can bare....

For this life is riddled with grief, hardship, and darkness....we are called to be a light in the's never going to be easy to be is never going to be perfect...but even in the trials...God always leaves a sliver of hope.

So as you start you Holy Week may your eyes be focused a little less on you, your suffering and your problems, may the cross show you the sins that nailed our savior to a tree...and in his passion, in his pain may you find the promise he leaves...and as you examine your life, your choices may you seize the chances given to you each day to reach out help, listen to, encourage and build up those walking beside you baring their own crosses, and lastly may you never forget that Jesus knows the pain you feel, the sins you carry.....he bore them to hell and as we ponder the cross this week...remember your redemption...and

Praise the one who breaks the darkness, the refuge of the weary, as he rides on to die.

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

cranky pants

     You know the saying..if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all? Well that's much harder to do when you are an adult. I knew I was cranky, I knew I had no right to be "This is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it" Psalm 118. I also knew I didn't want to talk...but as an adult you have to go to work and when you work with kids...guess what. Talking is going to happen.

    It's like the devil "who prowls around like a lion looking for someone to devour. Got his big obnoxious foot in the door of my thoughts and no matter what I could not get the door closed again. I even told my co-worker "I'll be better tomorrow"

  Why could I not get better then though? It's all  choice right? So the selfish old Adam part of myself wanted to be cranky. Why I'm not sure, knowing me attention....stress...fear.

Why am I so weak father...why is it so hard to simply trust in you? Though it's not bad, that little bit of fear is there lingering...always lingering...Oh the devil got behind my eyes today had a party....since it was so loud in my head, the normal noise of my 3 year olds was even louder. My irritability high.

   From the overflow of the mouth the heart speaks. When I say things that I know hurt, myself or others I think about that. Where did it come from why would I allow space in my heart for that I try to reflect on it... because when you do that, you usually don't feel much better then if you would have kept it to yourself....

    The kids have been having a very hard time being nice to their friends, let alone respecting and listening to their teacher. So I started teaching them the "Oh be careful little eyes what you see song" Now, when I watch them make a bad choice I remind them "Be careful little hands what you do" and then I ask them..who saw you do that. "The father up above" and I ask them does it make him happy or sad? they will say "Sad" which works well


   What about me? do I not have to hold myself to the same expectations I hold the children too? am I showing these kids the correct behavior by losing my patients, raising my voice? Do the words of that song not apply to me? It covers everything eyes, ears, mouth, hands, feet, heart,  mind.....and at the end of the day..I'm still just a sinner.


 This is where confession comes in ... because it's not about the guilt, it's about the forgiveness....

Father, forgive me for my weakness, and may my light shine brighter for you tomorrow. May the children see my actions and may they be actions the please you. Amen.

Sunday, March 17, 2013

Linger in his peace....

I know I've focused on prayer before, but I can't get over how powerful it is, and I'm amazed again and again....

James 5: 16 Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.

sin's weakness's, fears, anything you can pray about it. Oh man all I could think about in church tonight as we sang the hymn Jesus Priceless Treasure was how much fear has controlled my life. How it seeps in through my skin and creeps into the back of my mind, interlocking it's self in the pulsing of my heart.. 

and as I sang 

Though the earth be shaking,
Every heart be quaking,
Jesus calms my fear.
Lightnings flash And thunders crash;
Yet, though sin and hell assail me,
Jesus will not fail me.

As I had just confessed my fear and worries of the I prayed for strength and peace and courage to step out in faith knowing full well it will not be comfortable....

As my eyes began to water we got to the next verse....and in the passion in the words...I.found.solace.

Satan, I defy thee;
Death, I now decry thee;
Fear, I bid thee cease.
World, thou shalt not harm me
Nor thy threats alarm me
While I sing of peace.
God's great power Guards every hour;...

and mingled with my heart the notes, the words, his power his promise.....

I invite you to linger in his peace....

so when fear threatens to make bright skies gray, when you think you can't face what you know is coming, you can't overcome what you know needs overcome...for ever second of fear....Sing praise...Sing peace

confess your weakness and pray....because time and time again God shows you his  power through answered prayers.  Yes, No...and sometimes the hardest answer of all ... Wait.


Saturday, March 16, 2013

I know the Plans

"For I know the plans I have for you declairs the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jer 29:11

Sometimes waiting for something specific is harder then waiting for anything inparticular...
the mind is a battlefield...

It's so easy to be hopeful...Oh am I ever hopeful right now, but also as the days pass satan works in the back of the mind burning... burning over time. Thoughts nagging small, slow growing thoughts. Oh, Satan is so patient in the rolling out of his plans..."Do you really think you can live in the basement, How do you think your going to make all these payments on one salary..." They start even through the excitment the relief and the doors opening and opening.... the peace inside...oh how satan hates the peace...he is the Lord of chaos...oh how he hates peace...

For I know the plans I have for you declairs the Lord....there is comfort in those words
   As we stand on what could possiably be some huge and not easy changes in our lives. The trap is laid by satan and even if I acknolodge that it is there..I could be ensared. For the world places demands on the, space, a standered of living that we are use sacrafice for a hope, always and forever to hope. 

How often do we pass up a blessing from the Lord because we are too scared to step out in faith...when we are to comfortable...

So we take up the Word of the Lord and we fight of the devil with it's living power..and we praise and we pray...and each and everyday we fight the battle in our mind....we fight

Fight on.

Sunday, March 10, 2013

My All

What parts of my life reflect God poorly...what part of yours?

Can you walk out of church and people still know you are a Christian? Does every single second of your life, every single choice, every single word; show a world lost in darkness... the light?

Do you claim to be filled with the light (good) yet live in darkness (sin)

"The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood" John 1:5

Do you even realize it?

Do I?

Can you walk out of church and keep the peace, and the grace you felt there? I mean today during a hymn I got goose bumps and almost cried... can I feel that close to God every second everyday??

Were the whole realm of nature mine, 
 that were an offering far too small; 
 love so amazing, so divine, 
 demands my soul, my life, my all. 

 We have been talking about confession in church, what it is, why we have it and what it does. Confession is not about the guilt it's about the forgiveness...Yet confession does not give us forgiveness we already have     that; with the passion of Christ. Confession is a reminder that we need the forgiveness and the only way to    receive it is to ask for it to believe that we have it. To let God continually wash us white as snow.  To            continue a close relationship with our Lord.  Confession means letting go of pride, and fear and letting God  poor his love out on you 

again and again. 

The whole time pastor spoke tonight I sat there thinking meh, I know I sin this is about people who think 
they are perfect and don't sin, and as I'm sitting there puffing up thinking how much better I am then those 
that don't believe they need the Lords forgiveness, he pulled out the idea of coming to church not because   we are perfect but because we need to be reminded, renewed, and healed,  when we bring in our burdens   and give them to the Lord, then turn and step out the door and take them with us..

Just like that...there I go..sinning and living in darkness just like them....taking my burdens with me into the     world, not trusting God enough to handle what ever I am dealing with, to basically tell God, I don't believe 
you can do it....Wow...Please Father help my unbelief.

and love so amazing so divine, demands my soul, my life, my all.

We are so selfish, with what the Lord has blessed us with so quick to take what he gives us and yell "mine" my time, my hard work, my house, my money, my life....

and love so amazing so divine, demands my soul, my life, my ALL

Help me father live in your light, share your light and shine.


Friday, March 8, 2013

Do I I dare.

I'm terrified right now that its to late, I'm to excited...but to spend months with a call on your heart and having to wait for the spend over a year looking for the chance and having door after door closed in your face or more commonly never even open. Is it simply desperation that's filling my heart right now? Watching events unfold that could help us get back to Michigan or is it the start...

Oh, I pray for clarity and the strength to step out in faith to leave my comfort zone if God does indeed hold these doors open. Because though its what I want it's not going to be easy not at all.

We've had so many disappointments though and I'm trying to not get carried away...and I pray that if it don't work out I can be okay with that. Yes reservidaly excited...

And blessed..and at peace which has been growing for a couple of weeks this feeling...something is I dear to hope? do I dare do I dare? My life has been measured out in coffee spoons...

Isn't life...well isn't it?

By the way...I want to thank God for my If we do manage to move may I be blessed there as I am here...

Pray that kev and I can finally move forward with our lives...pray that we follow God in what could be some big decisions coming up. Thanks.

Thursday, March 7, 2013

Not all those who wander are lost..

"Now chose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the Lord is your life, and he will give you many years in the land he swore to give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob."

wow, what a message Moses gave to his people at the end of his life,

When you think of Moses what do you think of? The things he has done and seen and helped in...he saw the face of God, he spoke to God in no other prophet had done before or again....

and even he, because he did not trust God fully was denied entrance into the promise land. The very people that saw the parting of a sea, ate mana, followed fire by night and a pillar of salt by day, the very people who actually heard God's voice and pleaded for it to stop...THEY because of their lack of faith were denied entrance to the promised land.

What blessing do we miss out on every-time we worry, fret, or think we know better, when we get impatient, or complain? If you simply said  prayer every-time you wanted to complain about something instead of actually complaining, how much time would you spend with God a day? If you slowed down to pray before you get angry, or frustrated at a person or situation wouldn't that show the world a better way to live. Don't you long to have people notice you and say, what is it about that person...

Think of the children I interact with each day, the ones that might hear me complain to my boss about being tired, or overwhelmed because of the noise, that might hear me say something negative about a co-worker, or worse yet, another child. How can I sit these children down and teach them story after story of the amazing things God can and will do, and then show such little faith in his plans?

What am I missing out on? What are the children learning, thinking, yes I teach them letters, and bible stories, but could I not teach them humility, patients, and a faith in God.

Can you take one day and tally on your hand or a piece of paper right by you each and every-time you complain in the day, even if it's telling someone your feet hurt, or your hungry....then at the end of the day can you count them up and spend a minute for each complaint in prayer or in God's word? Can we be aware enough in our words and actions to even realize what we are saying. How much pain, and complications could be avoided if we just slowed down and trusted God.

What if?

The power of prayer I'll never get over it, but think again of the Israelites... think of what they had that we don't..and think of how many trials and miserable years in exile they could have avoided if they had been just a little more trusting when it came to what God could do. Just think.

If you don't want to do the complaining one, try tallying each time you worry, even if it's something like you worry the pants you are wearing make you look fat... and at the end of the day spend one minute for each tally mark in prayer or meditation...

How inconvenient life is sometimes and then; too realize that maybe it's your fault...not other people...what choices have you made that other people have to suffer through with you?

What do you wish to show the children?

May God be your strength and your shield...and in his strength may you find peace, hope, and most of all complete and uncomplicated child like trust in your Savior Jesus Christ.


Tuesday, March 5, 2013


Adjustments....the amazing power for adults to hard that can be for the first few days.

Time gets all wobbly wobbly and it's such a big deal in the moment at the time. Another kid being added to your already full room. A rule that is suddenly being enforced that could be inconvenient to follow...

A sudden move, or just everything happening at once..

BAM... And you as an adult have to deal, calmly, respectfully, eventually...

Delayed obedience is still disobedience,..

Have you ever watched a child deal with change? Even a thing like a change in the weather, an approaching snow storm, end of summer, end of school, Christmas break...oh we start out young being creatures of habits... And it doesn't go away as we get older we just hide it...or hide from it...

Children go haywire when a change is coming...think about it if not publicly...don't we grown ups do the same ting...I challenge you to slow down breath and before you open your mouth to complain...pray..

" Father, with you all things are possiable"

Think of something that was ganna be a big much your mind built up this dread of a specific kid being moved into your room. Or the thought of getting 20 plus children in snow gear everyday...and I can look back now and go..huh...I freaked out over that? I feel silly.

Today I rolled down a hill in the snow with my kids multiple times...there were barely any fights because we were interacting with them...adjustments...I had to adjust so I could interact with the kids and not just trying to keep up with my daiy plans..I get to work earlier..once a week I stay after work...adjust...

It's funny the things I've said I can't do...I can't work with babies...I nannied for one...I can't teach..I'm teaching, I can't live in the city...going on 4 years now plus 2 of college before that... I can and I do..and though I'm struggling with waiting on Gods timing to get out of the city...I can and I have lived in it...

To be a child of God is not to get everything you want when you want as the world it's to pick up your crosses daiy, to follow Gods will and to trust him to give you what you need, when you need it.. Not when you want it....

He gives us the ability to adapt...and I thank God for my well as pray for it to be made stronger.


Sunday, March 3, 2013

Confession is not about the guilt its about the forgiveness...

1 Timothy 6:6
But godliness with contentment is great gain.

Romans 7:21-24
So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death?

How apathetic to Gods law are you...I mean how often do you justify a wrong action with"oh, God will forgive me? " the never ending battle with our old Adam..even when I want to do what is good and right I don't...

I want to encourage you to sit down and read Romans 7 and 1 Timothy 6...

As a new week starts look for a moment you fight with your old Adam...whatever it is, as simple as worrying, or a moment you don't want to share...find those battles I. Yourself and find a cure if apathy...find a way for peace and in the end reach a place where you fully trust God.

I ask for prayers as I work to become content in every circumstance...where I can thank God for what 8 have even if its not exactly what I want...for I am wreched....and at the same time forgiven.

The cross take it to the cross...and then leave it ..the part I struggle with the most leaving my worry s frustrations and fears with my father...

For Romans 7 doesn't end with the confession of wretchedness....

Romans 7:25
Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!
So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God’s law, but in my sinful nature a slave to the law of sin....

Romans 8:1-3
Life Through the Spirit
 Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death. For what the law was powerless to do because it was weakened by the flesh, God did by sending his own Son in

the likeness of sinful flesh to be a sin offering. And so he condemned sin in the flesh,

Oh, Lord here the prayer...of the common man.

Romans 8....

Saturday, March 2, 2013

Self righteous and proud

Like the Pharisee that stood in front and made a big show of his prayer..look at me look how awesome I am at my job...see how hard I work and all I know and try to learn..look at me I stay late and come early...just look at me and give me my credit for being so awesome...

That echoes in my did on Friday when I wanted to whine about staying I got there first and no one even bothered to check...oh look at me poor hard working me....

It's so gosh darn easy look at your acts of kindness and want to give yourself a pat on the back..but we are suppose to do good deeds I. Such a way that your right hand does not know what your left hand is doing...and not for worldly credit but for heavenly...not to look good but to serve others...

Even if its not fair or it should be another way....I could have asked for my coworker to stay but I know the answer ...

Friday by the time it was noon I had felt like I had been there 2 days...It's so easy to nurse thoughts I your head to dwell on the unfairness of a situation and become angry..I know I did on Friday and I only had to stay a mere fifteen minutes beyond my already late scheduled time.

It's not my time it's Gods and its not about isn't fair..father forgive my anger and my bad behavior.