for years I've cried.

Small random acts of kindness that seem almost like a waste of time...

That person or in my case the persons you have known for years have prayed for for years...the ones that didn't understand you..you watched them find in their heart a small flame of belief in a savior..you watch that flame almost catch time and time again...and never stay...

Some you never see the flame others you come to the point that words the sharing of the word is not going to help...the ones you have to step back from and pray for..I weep for those....

To let go of that ever present pride...where you think you can save them...when in actuality it's going to be the Holy Spirit...to never quit on them even if they are not a part of your life..to pray each and every day for them...them that call you stupid, close minded, blind, hypocrite ..those who mock faith...maybe because of a bad experience maybe because of other Christians...maybe because so many people confuse religion with faith and just walk away from it all.

Whether its one person you've known for a few months or a lot of people you have know for years... whether centuries pass with no results...where you know that your actions have not helped their faith...for those that break our savior a heart...those that break yours.

Who am I to judge the heart and one day at a time the spirit knows..

I've prayed hours of my life page after page of my prayer journal dedicated to my friends, that are lost and year after year of nothing...I've fought through discouragement I've cried though church services

and over my bible..for those that think I'm stupid...or weird or judgmental..and they..they will never
know...and maybe someday down the road they will find faith...and it will be because someone else got through to them. Or at least you will have to struggle with the pride I you and the devil beside you saying why wasn't it you...

Lies....it's never me, who am I to want the credit for doing Gods work?  I pray each day for them a whole list of the Broken and now, now I have the chance to write a letter to one of them...a dear friend searching, reaching finally longing for something more...a letter to encourage her in her journey...and I find myself doubting my ability to encourage her at all.

I have all these prayers year after year night after night...God move in their heart as only you can do. Help me be the tool...and now before my eyes almost 10 years later I get hope again can I finally tell her why and how much I care...how long I've cared...and I doubt... Satan taunting  " you know she will fall away for. This it's just a stage she's done this how many times now...

Lies!

Oh, I need to write a letter but what do I say...how do you explain to someone your passion for Christ...and the power in Gods words...the knowledge he will help me...that the spirit will guild me...yes I will write and I will keep praying. And sometimes prayer is all you have...for years it's all I've had for those not in contact with me..and I look back on my past specifically high school and early college and I think of all the missed opportunities to share by example...

And how I strive each day to do better then the day before in letting my light shine...and how far I've come and how far I have to go..and I praise God for the journey and this one small maybe answered pray...yes, I will write her the letter...no more devil stopping me...

I'm not really sure why I've written all of this...just know that whoever you are praying for and for what ever reason whether its faith or a lifestyle that is against or father...just know you don't pray in vain,,,just know you may never see the results of your prayer and those times when you do; rejoice in the blessing God is placing before your eyes and let your faith be strengthened ..In all things give thanks and with prayer lift up those that are lost,..,day after day, year after year and who knows the small thing you do or give or say may lead them to someone else who will do small things or big things and someday....who knows and the mind can turn from this to that and a soul can be saved in a heart beat.

don't be scared to reach out to someone...try again and again....

Thank you Father
Amen.