Thursday, January 17, 2013

I'm really not that strong.

     Self general are hard for me, for work they seem impossible. I've never been much good at talking about myself. At interviews where they ask for your strengths ..I always want to say I don't have any God is my strength. Where do you walk that line of knowing you work hard at your job, and being prideful. What if you give yourself a 4 where your boss gives you a 2?

   Filling mine out for the first time I actually felt okay with doing it, like I get the reason for them I have weak points on it and strong ones. If taking over as Lead has taught me anything it's I have ALOT of both.

  Then you have the meeting part of the reviews, where you go in and compare your grading with your bosses and I am so guilty of this, I cry every time.... HA... Even if I know it's going to be brought up even if I gave myself a low score on the eval because I know it's a problem or I could do something better. I still cry.


    I've gotten better through prayer and well a new openness now to help. I can't do this job on my own, Oh Lord just thinking about tackling a 3k class of 20 some kids with out much training all by myself...No. Getting out of bed and making it through a work day would not be possible with out an AMAZING assistant, a helpful and caring boss, a supportive husband, and God. No, I'm no longer scared to admit when I need help. It's not a sign of weakness to admit you can't do something, or to search for a better way. It's the only way you are going to get any better at anything, it's better for the children, and yourself. Though some-days I may feel like Super Woman, I'm not.... I'm just Miss Leah...and I'm thankful that this does not all rest on me.

I am simply  a child of God.

Taking this one day at a time.

   Yes, Reviews make me nervous...but I no longer dread them. This one I need;I need to know how I'm doing what I can do better, and if I would even be considered to do it the following year....then from there I got to find ways to do it better. Even before I met with my boss just feeling out the form I found a couple of things that when I slow down and really look at it. I need to work on, even if I feel like I have been it hasn't been enough I can't give myself a 3 when I should have a 5....

 reviews can  pull you out of that comfort zone therefore they are necessary if you want to better serve the Lord, and your community.

Colossians 3:23
Whatever you do, "work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters,"

 I know this verse is taken out of context when it's talking about slaves serving their masters in bible time...but it's the same idea. Everything we do should reflect the Lord, and show his love..."in his perfections we are only a reflection" but it's better then nothing...

Find one thing tomorrow you can do better then you did yesterday...even just one thing can lead to another...till suddenly you are right where God wanted you to be the whole time. 

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