Sunday, February 23, 2014

balancing acts.

Identity...

    I don't have children, I know that if I had them I would be proud and love to share pictures of them. However, being on the other end of this still; surrounded by young parents (most all my friends have children) in this wonderful age and curse of social media. I know what it's like to sign into facebook and see post, after post, after post, of pictures, status, or comments about my friends children. I feel very little connection with some of my friends as individual adults... Like some people got married, had children and then had no life, no identity, outside of their children.

  I'm not talking no life: like no time to talk on the phone, or stay out late, or drink or what not..but no life beyond their children even when they do get a night out... but maybe since I don't have children I'm missing something...

   I'm not so naive to think that my friends are going to be able to do the things I can do with out kids. Nor do I think they should. You can go way to the other end of this and address those who never spend time with their children...

   However, I know enough of my friends who have found a balance between having their children and still having some sort of social life, hobbies, interest beyond their children. It might only be a night out with the girls once a month, or some who refuse to really put anything much about their children on social media. My one friend told me once that she makes sure she has time each morning to spend time alone with God FIRST then with her son. I had another mom tell me she doesn't mind not being able to get on facebook anymore because all she ever sees is others peoples children.. It's not that they love their children less then those who can't seem to go 5 minutes without speaking of them.. they just have a balance I hope I will be able to have if I ever have children.

  It's not necessarily bad to share cute moments with your children on social media, nor do I mind it now and again..though I'm still not convinced it's always the safest thing to do.(that's a whole different topic) I do know that those out there who don't have children for one reason or another can find the endless parade of their friends children and even acquaintances children on their news feed slightly overwhelming...but really isn't that all social media and interactions these days...just to much...

(still not as annoying as all those stupid captioned pictures...or worse those stupid cartoons...of course that's just my opinion. share away lovely minions)

   Again I don't know what it's like to have children I've never felt that all consuming love for a squirming baby... I got that... I love being able to see pictures of my friends kids, that I don't get to see often. I'm not saying don't do it at all...just like in all areas of life there needs to be a balance...

You are a mom yes...your children are not all their is to your life (I don't think) moms are often a wife, a daughter, a co-worker, a friend..Not first and foremost while your children are young but at some point....

  Yes kids are great, yes I love them...yes they deserve your attention, love and a TON of your time... I understand you are proud to be parents...however to all parents out there at some point your kids will be grown and if you have spent the last 20 or more years without an sort of identity or interest outside of your children. If you have stopped trying to maintain even somewhat those other "rolls" God has given you here on earth, (maybe not all of them or even those I've listed)...what then is going to be left of who you are, who you were?

3 comments:

  1. lol right, but you still see a little of my point. better hope your children don't move away with their kids...

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