Saturday, January 4, 2014

Praying for your husband or significant other.

I love how sometimes God moves me to write something and I chicken out...here I go

More then one couple I know are dealing with some marital issues right now..and my heart hurts for them. I am reminded how thankful I am for my husband..and how my prayers, my actions, and my words can help him each and every day.  I'm real good at praying for others going through hardships. I'm real good at praying for myself...but sometimes I'm not so good at praying for my husband. He never tells me anything is wrong so what do I pray for?

My marriage is not perfect nor do I want it to be..it's work each day and a choice..and though I'm a firm believer in praying..I don't always do it until something goes wrong. 

I think that is where we mess up as humans, as children of God.  We have this nasty habit of praying AFtER something terrible happens. While we should pray for protection from bad things. Though it won't protect you from all things..we live in a broken and sin filled world...it can help..and it can strengthen you..

When I do remember to pray for my husband I have a routine.. 
1 I pray for his spiritual walk..his personal relationship with God. If he's strong in the word he can lead me, and he can better fight of sin and temptation...

2 I pray for his self esteem, confidence, health, and motivation (either in work, school and marriage).

3. I pray for protection of his heart from sin and temptation...and if faced with them the strength and honor to walk away.

4 I pray that I as his wife can help encourage him in all of these areas. That I can build him up and fulfill his needs physically, and mentally, so he does not have to look elsewhere for fulfillment.

I also pray when I'm angry...when I'm hurt so bad I cry I pray for my husband...prayer is love and honestly even when you don't think or feel like they deserve it prayer is going to help.

Men don't like to talk about "feelings" let's face it they are wired different then woman.. We had a lot of change and a lot of hard news in 2013 and my husband has hardly spoken of it to me. It use to bother me that he wouldn't talk about any thing....because I have to talk about everything..he deals differently. Sometimes all you can do for your spouse or your friends or even your family is pray....

Marriage I have found is an constant balance of understanding another person..and it's a constant sacrifice on both sides. It's a choice to love and feel for only one person for the rest of your life. Why not help your spouse enjoy that choice? It's so easy to get too busy to make time for each other, to stop dressing to impress each other, to stop trying to anticipate the others needs and get caught up in your own. It's so easy to focus on the negative all the things your spouse does wrong...to tally up scarf ices and mistakes and hold them against them...

Love keeps no record of wrong...

For some in this world..for a lot of people that line is understandably hard to acknowledge...

I'm not a marriage counselor, I'm no expert on what is exactly wrong with anyone's marriage..I'm not even able to handle some things in my marriage right...I'm not judging nor condemning anyone...

For I am the worst of sinners..

But I am so blessed in my marriage and I also know trust can be so easily broken...and so very hard to earn back..my heart hurts when I talk to people struggling in marriage..but I know we struggle to be made stronger...and it totally sucks.

It's a slow fade and it's never just one persons fault...

At some point in life you learn it's impossible to be just friends with a member of the opposite sex.  Usually it's before you get married but after you have a very serious relationship..it just doesn't work Always on person or the other develops feelings for the other person. Though you would never act on the feelings putting yourself in temptation is not the way to deal with it. 

If you don't learn this lesson before marriage then it's most likely learned the hard way after marriage. I'm not saying you can't maintain friendships with others from the opposite sex...I have many guys that are my friends but I refuse to hang out with them without my husband...at least in private...even if I have zero feelings for said guy. Out of respect for my husband and my marriage...it's not worth it. 

The bible even says to flee from temptation to not place yourself in situations that could lead to temptation...

Prayer and God can help with a lot but if we don't take steps to safeguard our hearts and minds from temptation satan will jump on the chance to lead you astray and believe me he knows your weaknesses...he's a prowling lion looking for someone to devour,,

So, my New Years resolution every year is time with God every day...I'm adding praying for my husband and my marriage to that..every day.   Amen

I challenge you even if your marriage is a mess right now to pray every day for 30 days for your spouse or significant other even if you haven't met him yet...

If you want to take that a step farther for 30 days do something to better yourself for your husband or significant other. Me I'm ganna start working out again to look good for him, make a fancy dinner, pack his lunch, wash his cloths, say something nice even if you want to hit him in the face...anything.. See if your marriage isn't stronger..or if you yourself are not a better person for it. 

Amen!

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