Saturday, December 28, 2013

Some things never change.

Proverbs 18:24
One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother
John 15:13
Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.
“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
Bob Marley
“Friendship- my definition- is built on two things. Respect and trust. Both elements have to be there. And it has to be mutual. You can have respect for someone, but if you don't have trust, the friendship will crumble.”
Stieg Larsson, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
“You have a good friend that really cares for you and tries to stick in there with you, you treat them like nothing. Learn to be a good friend because one day you're gonna look up and say I lost a good friend. " ~Monroe~
Learn how to be respectful to your friends. How to reach out an don't forget now and then it wouldn't hurt to go out of your comfort zone and prove your desire to be a friend." It doesn't matter what you have been through, what you have gone through or how much you have changed. If you have never put in the effort to maintain a friendship there is very little holding a friendship together. One sided loves soon grows cold and dies...or burns hidden and deep in hurt.
I know I'm not the easiest person to be friends with in the world, I hate phones, I don't do bars, or large parties. But if you need me at 3 in the morning I've been there, I've gone through years of silence and still answered when life has screwed you up so bad you didn't know what else to do. I'm always up for a quite night of games, and beer, movies...
Yeah you've helped me when I've drank to much, honestly some of my strongest memories of you are the times you helped me while drunk...and one letter about a year ago.....and yeah that's great but shouldn't friendship be more then drunk moments of kindness? No one likes to be an afterthought.
Friends don't leave for a year to another country, then neglect to tell you that they are in the country again until nine days into their visit. Even that would not have happened if another friend hadn't had an after thought to tell you in a text.
Friends don't say oh, I'll get a hold of you and we will have lunch and then don't call...I'm sorry, they just don't.
However, it's always been like this and I'm not surprised...
surprised I'm hurt...but not surprised.
I have some pretty amazing friends, friends that give back, friends that try. I thank God for my friends, and the blessings they bring into my life! So here's to a new year,  and to seeing some friends I haven't seen in a while. Milwaukee here I come!!!

Sunday, December 1, 2013

Cyber perfection.

It's nice to plan isn't  it? To hope and dream of the future, to have goals, and boy does it ever feel good to reach those goals. When your like oh man, this is just great Gods showering me with blessings. It's nice to have moments when you just feel completely and incandescently unstoppable.

"I know the plans I have for you declares The Lord."

We love to plan, we plan parties, vacations, weddings, showers, meals, dates, we even plan out almost every second of our day...what a wonderful wonderful freedom it is to plan, something we take for granted. What a huge huge blessing.

I know the plans I have for you...

We love to plan...which is fine.. But what about Gods plans? What about when things dont work out...we something don't go according to plan.

What happens when God says that's not for you?

Do you become inconsolable, controlling, angry, emotional, frustrated, do you lash out to retreat into yourself? To you call someone and share how out raged you are?

You've dreamed of marriage since you were a little girl, you've been the bridesmaid in all your friends weddings, your tierd of hearing "oh when are you going to get married? When thier isn't a decent man in sight to even go out to dinner with? How is it you can plan and dream and desire and go without?

Watching someone get the job permotion you wanted...watching friend after friend buy a house start a family do all those things your suppose to do seemingly without any hitches or problems?

"Thou shall not covet..." "I know the plans."

It's the gloriousness of free will...we have the right to plan, to dream..and it's the wonder of God to give us just what we need when we need it.

I've been talking a lot of the future of having my own place..not my parents basement, of starting a family or a foster family. Of having my niece over for sleep overs at our house..for trips with my husband...all the things were're going to get as soon as he gets his masters and gets a job..

Because apparently living in an a place for free, living here and now, One day at a time isn't enough...

More often the not lately I want to delete facebook..because I swear if I have to see one more pregnancy announcement photo done up in some cute way I'll scream..if I have to see one more status  about how perfect someone's life is..I'll rip out my hair..

Why do I hesitate to put up a status that says "I messed up or I need prayer? Or guess what world my life ain't perfect, I'm not perfect and I'm not always happy. Nothing is real anymore..not music, not liturater, half the time pictures aren't even real. We all have to be creative, crafty thrifty,
modern, fashionable, oh God forbid you leave the house in sweats if your not going to the gym..heck go to the gym in sweats and still fell out of place among the fancy zumba gear, yoga gear, running gear.. Advertisement is brain damage...

Keeping up apperiances occupies 90% of our day anymore, and that leaves 10% for or family's friends, hobbies, rest, and seemingly last our walk with God...

No wonder we dive into the cyber world to find comfort..escape...and a zillion more reasons to hate what you have, how you look, and what you do.

That's the American dream people, this seemingly endless need to prove your worth, your intelligence, to have the next best thing Now...because your plans can't wait..give me give me..look at me look at me...I want I want I want. This narcissistic tendency to compare your life to others... and when you have weight and measured yourself and have fallen on your face with manure in your hair.. just join them and post how perfect your life is because God forbid that person you haven't spoken s
too since high school see's you as less then perfect.

I'm guilty especially lately, oh so guilty of wanting and wishing and coveting...and only showing my pasted on smile of markers and glue.

"For I know the plans..." God has the yes dream, better yourself, create, live and please please screw it all up..because that's REAL. That's life..

We live in the hallways..sure we go in a room and it's full of joy...then to another full of sorrow..and we always and forever return to the hallway to go on because that's where life happens.

You can be right and wrong at the same time.

And God will forever be sitting there saying "yep"

You can plan, and hope and dream...and God will just say "yep"

Dreams may change, hope might weaken, and your plans might be a disaster and God will just say "yep"

Just yep

Now I'll share this on facebook...yep.