I'm tired.

Depression.

A word...a companion for as long as I can remember...
winter a trigger.

I haven't written a post..because I don't think I can without whining.

at the same time I haven't picked up my bible
or my prayer journal

because....
because why?

Because I'm depressed...because I haven't been feeding my soul...which makes me depressed.

Maybe depressed is the wrong word...I'm just off, meh, blah...

How is it my husband is so wonderful? How is it he never complains, cries, or even gets angry? All he does is work, school, internship, homework...and he doesn't complain. Yet here I sit complaining cause I don't get to see my husband, crying because I miss St. Marcus, upset because there is no room for anything in this house. How is it my husband is so much better at dealing then I?

 I've spent the last 3 days with family and it's been great...but I'm exhausted. 

Im like a child, I get over stimulated and then I break down. 

where is my armor of God? how did I let myself become so sloppy in its upkeep?

I'm tired, tired of money, tired of feeling like I shouldn't have the feelings I do about things and not being sure how to go about dealing with them. I'm tired. Im weak, I'm worn.

thank God even though I have starved my soul...

I am safe in Gods arms.

I pray for all the things in my heart, I can't share, I can't say. I pray..and the spirit knows..

come Lord Jesus.

Amen.