Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Our hearts are not at home

Everyday is a struggle, a constant reminder that we are not home.

How fast can I update on the crazy trip the last few months have been. After the
Miscarriage summer ended and school started back up back to assistant in the 3K room... And two weeks in God decided to test me still more. So now I am the lead teacher in a room with an average of 20 three year old children everyday...there was a reason I dropped the early education track in college.

I must say I've learned more about myself in the past 3 months then I ever thought I could in such short time a I've learned how I react to my boss adding yet another child to my program, I've learned how I react to a coworkers child throwing tantrums. Ive learned that each day no matter how bad has a little moment of win... I've  learned that I might not have my life as together as I want people to believe and it took a room full of three year olds to show me that's okay... Most importantly I've learned that no matter how impossible or defeated I feel..God always gives me enough grace and strength for the day. And in this life enough for today is all you really need.

However I am reminded of the saying if God leads you to it he will lead you through it, I'm still not sure I understand just what God has been getting me ready for this past year. Nor do I know how much longer this refinement period is going to last, and those nights I cry myself to sleep...those are the nights his promise of a life time lingers on..and I need to have the patients to wait until God has sifted me, refined me and For him to say "Beloved, it is time for with these cuts I have made you whole."

I. Just. Feel. Called. To. Do. Something. More.

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