Saturday, December 4, 2010


So, here I am, married, working...loving it.

Lets start,

We got back from the honeymoon and the next day went to the Humane Society to get myself a kitten. Yes just one kitten. We left that day with two cats myself and my slightly alergic to cats husband. True story. The cats names Moses and Pharaoh also a true story. They adjusted well and seem to be very happy in our home. I love them greatly more often then not at the end of a day of work you will find the whole family sitting on the couch. Two adults and two cats it's really rather plesent.

Setting up an apartment has been if anything interesting. Sepcially with small storage space and no money. However, it has fallen together quit nicely and it feels like a home. Which is a pain in the butt to keep clean but I make an attempt at it. Someday when I have a computer at home again with internet access I will download pics so you can see the apartment. Until then just imagen it.

I started work the Monday after we got back from the honeymoon at the daycare. I tell you I love it already. Spent this past week working with children that could talk to me and after a year with a baby it's like heaven. Also I have co-workers that I can talk to throughout the day which is also something you take for granted until you don't have it. It is ran smoothly and it's nice to be working at a daycare where every one LOVEs thier job, this is then reflected in the way they treat the children and the amount the parents like the daycare. Just works wonderful. Of course like all daycares and work places thier is drama we are human. However, the kids are a blast and I am constantly reminded of a child from St. Johns in Dowagiac, its really rather fun. I pride myself in the fact that it only took me 3 days to be trained and that my boss said "She is great, you tell her how to do it once and she can do it ask her to do something and she is on it." It's nice to know a boss appereciates you! Small wonder it was such an easy transition it is ran so closely to the way St Johns was that it's like being home, only happier and a more Christain feeling environment. Yes, I like my job, no it is not perfect but hardly any job is. I always forget how much I love children when I stop working with them for a while. But when I go back it's wonderful. the hours are a little iffy but I'll take what I can get.

Yes life isn't all happy right now, my grandma is currently in the hospital I miss dancing and my family and Angel girl something ferice but I will survive. It is nice having a home, and it's nice being around friends once again though I have yet to really see them because of my job hours.

The honeymoon was grand and the time spent in Gunnison and Lincoln other then the big trees, was my favorit. It's nice to see other peoples lives that have ment so much to you before. This is all I really have time to post right now I'll catch you later.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Redding CA

When I was younger I had a list of things I wanted to see and or do. Number one on that list in 8th grade was "Go to the Sierra Nevada's" I never know until now just what I was going to see, but this afternoon while driving down highway 44 toward Reddings CA I feel in love with my dream. Who would have thought that that awkward disliked girl in 8th grade would ever find herself married and driving through the Sierras? Sometimes it's bittersweet to see a dream come true before your eyes...yet here I am.

As the pines rolled past us, and the angel dust fell, the sliver of Gods fingernail slipped over a mountain drifting in fog. I feel in love with these trees. I thought I loved England don't get me wrong it was fantastic, I thought I loved the Grand Canyon don't get me wrong still way high on my list. But this this was different. I don't know if it was the fact I was sharing it with Kevin, or the fact that I had longed for it for so long. I have no words to explain...but God is so good. As he has shown me today.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Farwell Chicago

Well, I'm back in Michigan now, with the foot I wasn't able to work. I miss Karolina so very much. I probably won't be writing in here until after my marriage. Until then!

Monday, October 4, 2010

There is always an end

Well, my time here in Chicago is winding down...25 more days here in Chicago, thats including weekends. I've decided to stay true to my blog it will change into random ridiculous stories of married life and Menomonee Falls.

Other then Karolina nothing of note has really happened here in the last few days. I've met alot of polish girls I guess when you make friends with one you get them all.

It feels weird thinking about the changes coming up in my life, I haven't even begun to understand or comprehend...but they are large and they are looming fast. It's this huge pot of emotions for me a bunch of excitement, mixed with a little bit of fear, and a pinch of curiosity, offset by the human desire to resist change. Even if where you are at sucks in comparison to where you could be. Here I am a one year veteran of Chicago IL. I am such a vetren that I got lost on my way home from Milwaukee last night (I was tired and not paying attention) ended up 25 min south west of where I needed to be on 290. Well my method of fixing the lost problem in Chicago is "Aim for the lake" the joy of living on the lake is that if you find it it's just a matter of figuring out what way you need to go on lakeshore drive to get where you need to be. No I tell you it was late, I was tired and cranky and already didn't want to go back to Chicago in the first place. So here I am driving on the freeway thinking sure hope I can figure this one out. FINALLY I saw a sign for Chicago and decided to follow it...ergo I ended up on 290...which took me to Canal street, which is where Union station thats where I got off (omg I was so happy to find something I knew) Now Union station as some of you may well know is about a block away from the sears tower...or whatever it's called now. So here I was midnight downtown Chicago trying to get to Rodgers park 15-20 min North of downtown...
Still I stick to my words "aim for the lake" Now I give Chicago credit for at least making sense with their roads one ways...and roads that go all the way through in the straight line (unlike Milwaukee) FINALLY I find lake shore drive and it's on the road home...and to bed...

A year ago...or less last night...would have freaked me out...and it's crazy the things you can do that you never knew you would or even thought you would have to attempt...

A year ago you could pay me enough to work with a baby, A year ago I would have told you I would NEVER live in a big city at least not Chicago...A year and a half ago I was sure I was never going to get married....But God always has other ideas.

Monday, September 20, 2010

The 4th Season...and the end of.

Spring past into summer so gently I almost didn't notice, so swiftly I blinked and it was over. Adam was walking, and little by little I made the most amazing of friends. Here is where I have to work on my heart though for it is hard to not be bitter with the fact, that I make this friend just in time to leave. Yet I focus on the fact that she is amazing, and I enjoy every second I spend with her until I leave and the chances after that. Because as I so often forget, it's not about me it's about him and he does what he does for me despite what I am. Karolina has drawn me back to God...and she and this park are Godsends.

So here is summer.

The new season of benches... year...

45 days...and I leave this place....

Thursday, September 9, 2010

The park in 3 seasons.

The park, the park is the one thing, other then little Adam that I will miss the most. It's where I've met everyone one I know in Chicago, it's where each day I visit I am met with some new and completely ridiculous experience. The park is the very definition of America, the hobos, the hippies, the disgruntled middelaged black men talking Revolution trying to feel young. The millions of colors and ethnic groups, the melting pot of languages, and ideas. The arts, the sciences, it's all there walking, sitting, laying, swimming, biking, jogging, dog walking, playing, climbing, screaming, cussing, singing. Telling a story most of the world is oblivious too. Yes the park is the one thing I will miss...and the lake shore, I have grown to love the sound of it, sitting on the painted bench, or under the trees, in all seasons it's the one thing never much changed. Every time I go there I want to write about the characters of my park, the regulars, the kids Ive watched grow for a year, from hats and gloves and snowballs, to rainboots and umbrellas, to swimsuits and shovels. The parents the nannys, the stories the accents, the laughter. Yes the park... where I've been hit on by all sorts of people in all sorts of ways. Where I go when I'm homesick, or lonely, or sad. Yes the park. So here in pictures is what I always talk about...This past year captured in seasons of change.

The first day...

The benches change...the ones now are different I don't like them quit as much, but it's still neat.

This is how big he was one year ago, almost exactly.

The path by the water...

The full line of benches and the fall's starting to look like this again...
I meet Mike that fall, and ended up getting a restraining order on him, my next friend was a girl...and I hope she can stay a friend after I move. but more on Karolina later. Winter set in, and I was shut in..with little Adam day after day after day..but now and again I would get out..with or without him, and there would still be people in the park..the die hards mostly the disgruntled middle aged black men, who hit on me (I quickly learned to do my best to avoid them, sometimes it's just not possible though. So the park covered with snow, looks like this

This is how big he was at Christmas....

and just when I thought the winter was going to do me in...this happened...overnight.

And hes crawling....

And spring gave way to summer...and that I'll post soon.

Friday, August 13, 2010

Yesterday, I went downtown by my self which is how I do everything in this city alone. I'm getting use to it. Anyway, I had the day off I apparently can not wear my blue dress in public with out Kevin there...I don't know what it is lately I'm sitting in Borders, reading of course...and at the table to the side and in front of me are four men probably in their late 30's early 40's playing chess. One of them was a Big black fella I'm sure he was nice enough but he just kept winking at me. I quickly stopped looking over there though I was honestly interested in the game. But even when I was reading I could feel him for over an hour... staring at me.. Now I know how a fish feels. By the end of the day I was ready to burn that dress. I was called babe, mama, mis, hun, sexy, and hot...all by different random black guys. Which is fine I guess nice for my ego but seriously whats the deal? I never touched a door handle all day. Made me miss Kevin...

Then today...

today today today...

I got of a bit early, it's sorta nice outside, so I decide to go to the park with out the extension, and read. Well the last week there has been these two or three guys playing in the park "practicing" they are a band have some sort of benefit concert this weekend for their friend. The first time I saw them I was with little Adam..and boy did he just stair I think he liked their music...and it wasn't bad. Well, when I went to leave we exchanged a few words and away I went. So today I'm entering the park and there they are. Of course the expected question

"Wheres you kid"
"Actually hes not mine, I'm just the nanny"
"Oh, so no kids of your own huh?"
"nope not yet, your music is pretty good guys, how long have you been playing"
"We use to play all the time, but we haven't met up in years. Were doing this for our friend."
okay now let me describe these guys to you. You know the hippie, druggies from back in our parents day? Thats them..... The one actually probably was, the other was younger anyway. It's really true they talk like that. "hey man, that some sweet stuff you got there" etc. ANYWAY, by this time I'm thinking these guys if nothing else are interesting so I walk with them a bit. (they are going to take a dip in the lake you know chill and all.) Well, one stays with the guitars and we sit down..we talk about hippie things, music, books, traveling...I think he should have been a BEAT poet actually....the mushrooms they had last night...(yes true story I think one was still in that happy place). They invited me to their concert yada yada yada. A long story short, they were actually very nice polite guys. One married from Colorado the other getting married in was a good time and away they go.

Now I'm leaving the park by this time a couple of hours have elapsed...First I have the African man asking me where I got my bag because he likes them and the little Chinese girls keep telling him they got it in their home land. Obviously, I don't look Chinese...he seemed disappointed when I told him I got it at a thrift store in Milwaukee. Guess he really wanted a murse...So I walk on...

Now this next character reminds me so much of my friend Noah that there is NO way I will ever try to contact him...I mean that just won't end well at all. Again he was black and very fun to talk to and a poet, and lives close around...and we talked a bit but I Tell ya I have NEVER been hit on the way he hit on me. I'm walking along in my own little world, smiling about my hippies, and the murse guy when I hear someone say:

"Ever thought about getting dreads?"

I'm telling you I'm as white as you can get...I'm probably the last person to ask this question too unless I'm doing Dana dreads but thats different. Seriously though, who starts a conversation like that? Well it worked lol...mostly because I was confused

"have you ever thought about getting dreads, thats what those hats are often used for" (I'm wearing one of those cloth hats that seem to be all the rage now the knitted type things that sorta flop on your head...

By now I've figured out yes, this guy seriously just asked me if I wanted or would consider putting dread locks in my hair. Okay then...
"Um, no I have never thought about it.."
and the conversation somehow progressed...and we talked about my job, about poems, yada yada yada...(I guess I must look really artsy today it must be the hat and the murse....I don't know how people can look at me and instantly get "poet" but I'm okay with that...So I ended up with his phone number..though he really wanted mine (fat chance buddy) I guess he never even saw the ring not like I wasn't trying to flash it in front of him or anything....We talked long enough to almost get me thinking this guy really just wants to share poems...and thats when I learned his name Jonah...and I was like OMG this is the walking incarnation of Noah....and it made me laugh!! Anyway, just as I was thinking maybe this guy is half way okay he throws out the next line

"Well, I sure hope you give me a call, cause your hot I'm just ganna be honest and my poetry is fanominal (spelling)" I just laughed and walked away.

Now, if I were single unattached I would have to admit I would probably text him solely because he reminded me so much of Noah, and Noah is good peoples. He was also a Christian and a poet...but at this point in my life...nope sorry buddy not happening there is no way a guy and a girl can just be friends...unless you have been friends when you were younger, or your over the liking each other stage. He wanted way more then to just hang out at his friends "crib" who is white

Talk about a couple days of ego boost...and I just can't wait to see Kevin...I love that man more then I can ever explain in any poem I ever write...

Don't judge.

It's been a while...

I'm winding down on my time here in Chicago then I will have to think of another use for this blog. Until then some more antidotes of my ridiculously random meetings with people in this city.

Months ago I went for a run, the usual 1 and a half mile to the gym the 1 hour at the gym, then the run back. So, on my way to the gym I pass a middle-aged black gentlemen in a wheel chair. I'm talking once upon a time pimp so you can sorta picture the outfit, the fedora the chains the stripped suit the works. He does the usual stare at me as I avoid eye contact on my way past. Whatever, on the way home hes still there. Apparently he lives in the building and has to come out for a smoke and just happened to be out smoking both times. So here I am, sweaty, red, probably slobbering... mouth hanging know apparently guys like this look. On my way past he says "Still running huh?" Now, maybe I should get my head check or maybe I'm just that damn desperate for social interaction..I stopped. After explaining that I ran to the gym worked out and was now on the way home the conversation progressed.
"All that running, it's why you look so good."
I'm thinking oh boy here we go again...but then
"I see you have a ring on, thats one lucky two living together around here?"
So again I explained no, we won't live together until we are married his in Milwaukee (blah blah blah) and still I'm thinking this conversation is not going to end well when he pulls out the bombshell

"Thats so good to hear, I don't know why everyone thinks it's okay these days, the good Lord gave us a plan for a reason. You are going to have a blessed marriage it's so nice to hear it too."

at this point I think my mouth was hanging open for a different reason. Seriously don't judge someone by what they look like...It's not ALWAYS true. On I ran smiling for some reason that conversation just made me happy. God is good and there are still people in this world that are good to.

Friday, April 16, 2010

The light it pierced the darkness;
but the darkness didn't know,
and understanding never unraveled
in the reflecting white of snow.

The path went on unending,
through gates and grates unknown.
and hope could only follow,
though it knew not where to go.

Somewhere the angels waited;
singing soft, and sweet and low.
and smiling at remembered children-
making their likeness in the snow.