Friday, February 6, 2015

Judging the Broken in us all.

Another facebook inspired post.


Facebook and the News.

Today an article appeared on my news-feed, via multiple friends... When I was scrolling through and saw the picture I said hmm she looks familiar but kept going. Later I came back to it and another friend had shared it...I looked closer. The brokenness of the world was in those eyes. The eyes of a lady who tried to speed away from a police officer and ended up sliding of the road into an embankment. She apparently had her 2 year old child with her and a warren out for her arrest as well as no insurance and an unregistered vehicle. The eyes of a life where all she ever saw was broken...Who is now in jail facing 4th degree child abuse charges...

She has 3 children...all boys..

it's not fair...but...there is a reason whatever it might be I deal with my own demons.


The eyes of a childhood friend...just as lost as she was in 2nd grade when we played cats and dogs and C.J. was the catcher.... or when we would pick apples from the trees in her back yard and get sick from eating to many, play in the corn crib down the road, build snow men, and have sleep overs where I would watch movies my mom wouldn't like me watching. Someone I meet in Kindergarten who I spent years growing with...Someone who watched what sin can do to adults. Who watched a mother deal with pain (MS..if she was being truthful) the best way she new how(drugs)...who watched her mom and dads marriage dissolve.  Who really saw nothing in relationships to hold her together. Who lied...sometimes to survive or get attention she was starved for... or at least to convince others she was just fine. She lied so much I will admit she pushed me away even as a child she could tell fantastic stories and swear they were the truth..and she could  make you believe them. I watched them trun from stories to falsehoods, to lies, to manipulate, strike back, and destroy .....and it's a mental illness...but she falls through the cracks in the system...and shes broken I'm not making excuses but I saw this article and cried..other see it and roll there eyes...mock her, She shouldn't do it but does she know anything else??

A life of choices stretched out behind her, passed on to her from her parents and now to her own children...None of it her fault and at the same time every single choice she has made, lie she has told, hers and hers alone. Her mother didn't hold a gun to her head and say do what I did.... but she showed her the way...

Show your children something more... to rise above.

Because if you didn't know her before 4th grade...you don't know her at all. Between the lies and the walls and the life she grew up in...she has survived...somehow allbeit not well. But look at her eyes....

Just an article about a woman who ran from a cop.... posted and shared again and again...for people to read that really don 't need to read it, sure it's in the papers it public domain..but does that mean that old friends, acquaintances need to share it like that?  It use to be if you didn' live in the area you didn't really hear about it...local news stayed localized...now...now people that live in Flordia who had forgotten that this woman existed knows, complete strangers all over the nation...and have formed an opinion based on one small write up...

Isn't it at that point the same as gossip? Is it going to help this woman? Is judging her, calling her stupid going to fix her? Is stating that she won't change because she never has yet really the answer? How many times has she heard stuff like that in her life? Look at her eyes and don't tell me shes not hurting... I'm not saying she can be saved..but has anyone tried. (Maybe they have...idk)

what if she finds this article with these comments (some from people she knew) is it going to motivate her to make her life better..or drive her deeper into the pain she can't seem to get away from? I'm not making excuses for her and honestly if this results with her losing her children thats good. This cycle needs to be broken. I can't wait to be in a position to do foster care and help children placed in situations like this... but

 but things like this isn't going to do it.

"Sounds like a real winner.  Unfortunately this is the kind of person that breeds in this country."

When I see people like that I magically run out of money. Funny how that works. Smh. I can't stand low life lazy people. I bust my ass for everything I have and they seem to always be there with a hand open for a donation.

"Drugs do that to people"

I think a lot of people with mental problems, drug and alcohol abuse problems, tend to stay that way because 1. It's all the know. 2. That's what everyone expects...so therefor it must be true.  It's no different then telling a child they are worthless... over and over again...

My heart hurts...this is "Red" (I use to be so jealous of her red hair..but oh how she hated it) This is my friend, even if we haven't spoken in years...

Maybe I feel to much....idk...

She is a human...she does have feelings...I know I've seen them...

She tried to reach out to me a year or so ago when she ran into my mom and gave her her phone number to give to me. I truly wanted to call her...then lost the number...

What if I had...

In highschool she was never ready to hear about Jesus...She was into some pretty dark stuff (also a coping mechanism) but from what my mom said the day she gave her her phone number and from the look in her eyes in this picture. What if I had called her? I know I can't save her but when is the last time she's heard the message? 4th or 5th grade when she left St. Johns? When her life fell apart around her? I never even bothered to water or re-plant that seed to share the hope of a future, and to make it worse God put it on my heart real heavy that day and I still didn't call her.

I can't sleep now.... the hopelessness of those eyes... and the back of my mind...

Tomorrow could be one day to late.

Judge away world, beat her down and make sure she stays there... feel better about yourself...share her misery with the world and let complete strangers judge as well.

I'm a hypocrite though, how many times have I watched someone on the news do something stupid and call them that? Some people really are just bad people...and some people take in a broken world and have nothing left. Seeing a face I now in a article like this, I will now think more before I pass judgment on someone or share the news.... Because sharing is not in and of itself a bad thing, and nothing is going to stop mean comments on something like this. I'm just going to try to check my  motives of why I'm sharing something and see if they are good. Does EVERYONE on your friends list need to know this? Because until today I've never really thought of it.

“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? ...Matthew 7:1,2~

The draw back of small town life, the drawback of the media infused world..

they are both blessings and curses..

and my heart hurts....look at her eyes. (taken from the article photo and cropped by me)



When I find it I'll add the picture of us when we were about 6 or 7 building a snowman...


Pray.


Here is an article that explains her mental health issues...I think her mother had the same problem.
http://www.newhealthguide.org/Pathological-Liar.html
(I wouldn't be suprised if most or even all of the "Causes" in this definition are true for her.)


it's a sickness...

It's not an excuse...it's a reason. It doesn't make it right or fair..but when sin entered this world nither of those things are always a part of life.