Monday, January 5, 2015


After that last downer...

Real fast some clarifications.

1.  I have no doubt that foster care/adoption is going to be amazing. I was the child (and some of my oldest and dearest friends will attest to this.) That most of my "lets pretend" time I was an orphan or running and orphanage...So yes when I say it's not the same as actually carrying a child to term I simply mean it's not the same not that it's going to be any less rewarding or that I can't love an adopted child just as much. It's just different.

2. I have no doubt God has a plan and as loving the reminders are it's honestly getting to the point where it's making me crazy. I know God has a plan and my guilt comes in that the just knowing that doesn't help ALL the time. Most of the time yes but not all. I am human I'm working on it.

3. I love each an everyone of you who read this blog and love me regardless. Thank-You all so much for the support the love and the prayers.

Now, onward Christian Soldiers. To a totally different topic.

It's amazing to me how some "Christians" just get it so so wrong. It's amazing to me how some "non-Christians" get it so wrong. This world as the bible says will get worse but I honestly feel like it's falling apart around me. People are crazy,

We are so selfish, so full of entitlement so sold on this everyone is right, has a right is a God, can be your own God philosophy. So FREE.

Free to judge
Free to speak
Free to take law into your own hand
Free to trample anyone who dears to think different
Free to do whatever the hell you want.

It's in these Freedoms we have lost

Our ability to love
Our ability to listen
Our ability to feel safe in our communities
Our ability to consider others thoughts and opinions, and by doing so learn and grow and if you find yourself in the wrong...change.
Our ability to share, have compassion, and build something better for our children.

I'm so tired of being slapped in the face because I'm a "Christian" Living in a world where the term "Christian is almost a swear word, sneered at. Then before I can get truly mad, some one, calling themselves a "Christian" proves the worlds point we are a laughing stock.  How do you fight ignorance with more ignorance? How do you spread Gods word at all if you are only looking out for yourself? If you are to busy judging someone else...

This whole world needs to take a step back and chill out. Shut off the news, sign out of facebook, set your phone down....LOOK UP.  We think this world is better this progress is so grand. Look I can have anything I want at the click of a button. I can get the answer to any question with a snap of my fingers. I don't have to talk to another human for DAYS if I don't want to even if they are in the next cubical, the next room or the same room. I also don't have to be able to use my reason, common sense, or form my own opinion on any subject. It's all there plastered on the internet blaring out of the T.V.


I'm drowning. I don't know about you, but this world where everything is instant makes me tired. Yet I'm just like you... on my Ipad, on facebook, plugged in looking down and losing...losing what? When the world is so broken instead of searching for the beauty that is still there I hide in an endless parade on my newsfeed liking pictures Pining my life one click at a time all the while missing...missing out on laughter, nature, the pride in working hard.. and worst of all my walk with God.

Always choosing to see the good side of everyone's life and feel bad about my own. Or rolling my eyes at another post from that person about how BAD there life is. At least they are willing to admit it's not perfect....I'm ready to reclaim my soul...

We are a sleepless world, twitching, over stimulated, diluted....all in the name of progress.

Advertising if brain damage

P.S. I hate Fox News.

Okay I'm done talking now, I'm going to sign out. No more placing my guilt in front of me with ANOTHER baby picture on my facebook. It's not your fault at all I would probably do the same thing...It's mine for not being able to deal with I'm happy for everyone one I love you all...but I can choose to stop looking and wishing...and hurting unnecessarily. I can't seem to stop comparing my life to others especially those with children and houses and seemingly more put together lives...

I've got a lot of guilt but this is one area I can start in controlling it.  Because they are doing nothing more then sharing....It's not their fault they are happy...

I know it's NOT what it seems and I'm not saying my life isn't good right now in this basement next to my husband on a computer. Warm, sheltered, feed, loved, and entertained. No I need to learn to be content in every situation and if flooding my eyes and brain with other peoples lives isn't helping me personally then maybe I need to LOOK UP!! Take my own advice....

save my soul.

In a world full of short cuts and would think I would have heaps of time to spend in God's word. You think we all would... Yet I don't. I haven't in a while...

So ask yourself where is all that time saved going?

who is it helping.

LOOK UP!! if not at your world around you then to the heavens to his glory. AMEN.

I plan to.


(end note, I'm not deleting my facebook..just going to try to step back....TRY being the key word)

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