Saturday, June 21, 2014

Entitlement.

Entitlement.

en·ti·tle·ment

  [en-tahy-tl-muhnt]  Show IPA
noun
1.
the act of entitling.
2.
the state of being entitled.
3.
the right to guaranteed benefits under a government program, as Social Security or unemploymentcompensation.


Main Entry:   Entitlement Generation
Part of Speech:   n
Definition:   the group born between 1979 and 1994 who believe they are owed certain rights andbenefits without further justification
Example:   The entitlement generation expects higher salaries, flexible work hours, and ample timeoff.
Usage:   slang

“Man is not, by nature, deserving of all that he wants. When we think that we are automatically entitled to something, that is when we start walking all over others to get it.” 
― Criss JamiDiotima, Battery, Electric Personality

“Beware: It is a quick transition from a nourishing sense of gratitude to a poisonous sense of entitlement.” 
― Steve MaraboliUnapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience

God's grace is the undoing of entitlement. Really we all have sinned and we all are saved and no one deserves anything good but for the Grace of God.

  Working with children, it never stops amazing me how a child can demand something NOW and if they don't get how they can just shut down. They don't care if they don't participate their minds can not move beyond the fact that they didn't get what they want the way they want it. Most when allowed to sulk for a bit give in and join but more and more now I have kids that are just done for the rest of the day. THAT is a normal child development thing.

   If a child never learns to deal with the fact that it's not going to always be their way they will be less apt to deal with life in general. When we are old and need taking care of ourselves the younger generation will be so involved with entitling themselves to be happy and feel good they won't care. If they don't sacrifice some happiness as children they will not sacrifice it for others later on. We will see a world so entitled that the greater good and even the common good will be the individual good, that caring for others will be the stupidest most inconvenient thing ever thought off.

  As a child in my class sits under the table and sulks or sits on bench and screams I can't stop from thinking that this is a learned and more often then not groomed behavior by well meaning and loving parents who honestly don't know or realize what they are doing to their child. If you raise your child as the center of your world they are going to expect you to entertain them every second. They are going to expect you to drop EVERYTHING and pay attention to THEM. They are going to be little kids who through tantrums beyond the normal, they are going to be little kids who can't self entertain, problem solve, or self sooth. They are going to be teenagers that insult someone who doesn't get something fast (Iv'e seen it even in my 4 year olds) You are going to have teens, who break a rule and expect you to make it all better. You are going to have a young adult who has never experienced a let down, a failure (some of my let downs and failures were the greatest turning points in my life). You are going to have an adult who thinks they are entitle to have opinions and voice them regardless of how crass or rude or hurtful they are. Who think they are atomatically deserving of the highest pay and the best hours their first day... and you dear parent.... You are going to be a parent who complains, is always tired, and can't seem to get anything done EVER.

  I'm in the lump of  the entitlement generation 1986...I'm at the begging but I can look back and think where I have had thoughts reflecting entitlement. Starting out at a new job and having to work at year before any time off how outrageous that was to me.  How upset I can get when I lock my keys in a car and get mad because all my carefully laid plans are ruined and it's not fair but never then was it my fault.

 My husband and I waited for marriage and are there for entitled to a baby... it's not fair, but really...it's life and I thank God I grew up dealing with life. My parents couldn't hand me everything I wanted, my parents could not focus all their attention on me. This does not mean they didn't love me and want the best for me..never once have i doubted the love of my family and I don't need "things" to know it.  My dad had a farm to run my mom and the neighbor hood to watch and a job. I know the world was different and it was safer for a child to play out of their parents sight.  The fact is that I could self-entertain with out internet, T.V.  or even friends close by. Sometimes I look at myself now, always on line or playing a game on my ipad, with the T.V. on and I think...there is no way I could do it anymore and sometimes I hate myself for that fact. No way I could be a teenager again with dial up internet...on a farm...without a car. I'm entitled to be entertained every moment of everyday.

I am so thankful for my parents and my childhood as hard as it sometimes was.

  My heart is sad. Sad for kids who will never experience such bitter disappointment that they get so angry they work harder before they give up. My heart is sad for me, my friends, and the people younger then me who will not be able to let their kids run all over the woods, and fields and neighbor hoods for hours. Because of a fear of someone who feels entitled to the right to be happy and take them or hurt them or even report you as being a neglectful parent. My heart is sad when I announce we are going outside and a 6 year old girl asks if she can bring her tablet outside and play with it. Sad for kids who won't ever go a day with out touching an electronic or watching less then 30 minutes of T.V. . For the kids and even some adults who think food comes from the store. Who doesn't know that carrots, and potatoes were covered with dirt.

  My heart breaks when a kid misses out on a great teaching moment because a parent can't bare to see them cry. My heart breaks for kids going to school at barely 3 years old and will be in school for the next 16 years not counting college. When parents can't see the need for a child to play ALL DAY if they want and learn the whole time, through trail and error, observation, and exploration. In a classroom setting.

“Instead of communicating "I love you, so let me make life easy for you," I decided that my message needed to be something more along these lines: "I love you. I believe in you. I know what you're capable of. So I'm going to make you work.” 
― Kay Wills WymaCleaning House: A Mom's Twelve-Month Experiment to Rid Her Home of Youth Entitlement

  No one is entitled to anything, especially if you hurt others to get it, or hurt others by saying it. We are blessed to have what we have,  and to be able to do what we can do. Never do you feel better then after working so hard, pouring your heart and soul into a project or activity and coming to the end of it successful. When you rob your child, or teen of that experience by giving everyone a ribbon or a spot on a team...or not letting them try something because you don't want to see them hurt. They will never know what working for something feels like. They will think they are entitled to it without blood sweat or tears.

  Entitlement like Tolerance is a learned behavior. Yes early childhood teachers are part of training a child in the way he should go. But if it's not reinforced at home, our work does little but teach a child the way we act in the classroom is not required for the rest of the world.

  There are so many things entitlement touches that I would love to get into. I know I pick on parents a lot, I know I don't have kids, I think as a parent I would struggle with watching my child experience a let down, a heart ache. I imagen parenting to be one of the hardest things to do these days. So many people are such amazing parents and if God ever blesses me with a child I hope to be half the parent they are... This has been a very heavy pregnant belly, birth announcement, face book month...and honestly it's been rough. Because of the entitlement in me it's not always easy to be happy for my friends. Yet its not about me..I might not be a parent but I work with your kids...and my heart breaks.

   Life isn't all love and sunshine, it's full of sinners, and storms. Don't lie to your child...help them learn the skills to cope, give them the tools to deal, and show compassion. Give them a faith to praise God in the valleys as well as the on the mountains. Because if we can teach our children compassion and humility...we could change the world.

But for the Grace of God.

“When we replace a sense of service and gratitude with a sense of entitlement and expectation, we quickly see the demise of our relationships, society, and economy.” 
― Steve MaraboliUnapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience

Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves,not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. ~Philippians 2-4~


http://aspeneducation.crchealth.com/articles/article-entitlement/

an read on the entitlement generation.

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