It's been soooooooo long, my husband has had a monopoly on the computer with his masters work, and I haven't been able to get my thoughts organized enough to post a blog. (nor am I entirely convinced they are organized now) Posting a blog on here from my Ipad is basically impossible. Between those two issues
it's been to long.
I wanted to write about prayer, I wanted to write about forgiveness, I wanted to write about this new push to make all "god's" and my God the same...but they were all such big things...massive really so I wrote about nothing.
A lot of people I know are in pain, emotional, physical, living on this earth is simply not easy. It's broken and we live in that harsh reality daily. I'm a fairly positive person.... at least I like to think so, (someone who knows me might read this and be like what are you talking about)...I use to complain a lot more then I do. Now when I complain I kinda get this little tug at my heart and I feel bad like I failed. (Like the other week when I had to work for an hour in the daycare apparently that was the end of the world...sorry...) but of course I failed..I'm human...
Forgive the jumpiness of this blog, I should learn not to read my friends blog before I go to write mine.
This past few days have been a little crazy, and not just for me apparently.
We all know someone who is just never happy like never no matter what; the grass is always greener, the past was always better, everything is always terrible, they always have it worse then anyone else. It could be for any number of reasons life is hard I get it. Money is tight, I get that. To much work, need a break. Yes. Ah, but life is so so so short. Way to short to spend so much time so very very unhappy with it. If you don't know anyone like that then maybe it's you.
Life is to short and we were made for so much more, our mind is a battlefield and outside of a medical or physic problem (and maybe even with) you have more power over your thoughts then you think and for those of us with faith well who knows what mountains can move.
Life is short. This past week life ended for a couple of people I know one that I have spent a good deal of time around out at Cowboy Up...that person so full of life, so apparently healthy, so kind, so POSITIVE with no warning just gone....
What if you went to take a nap and didn't wake up? What would people say about you what kind of feelings do you leave behind? (Because that could happen apparently) It's been a crazy week.
I remember a few years ago, not long after I began working at Good Shepherds. I chose to battle complaining, and made an effort to consciously tally mark each time I complained in a day or even thought about a complaint. (what a miserable day I apparently had). It's been a good 2 and a half years since then and I know my complaining has dropped considerably. I'm to the point when other people do it I just want to scream at them. At one point I had to make a choice to distance myself from some of the negative people in my life, just so I could figure it out myself. (I tend to feed of other's peoples mood at least i use too) There is a difference between needing to talk about something, about trying to work through and deal with something; And complaining about every.little.thing.that has, will or might go wrong. Seriously some people complain before anything happens. It's got to be exhausting.
I'm a teacher, and I'm learning real fast what the energy I bring into the room does to the children. If I stand outside my door or wake up in the morning and groan that so and so is going to cry all day, or so and so is going to be terrible. Well goodness I'm defeated before I even step out of bed, or walk into my classroom. THE POWER OF THOUGHTS...
The kids know if your in a bad mood, and they tend to mirror you mood, so be prepared for a bad day. It's as simple as that, fake it until you make it...who know that I would do that as a teacher.
Life is to short to be miserable...I take comfort in knowing that my friend who is now with Jesus ENJOYED her life on this earth and the people she touched with her joy will remember her for it. ( I'm not really sure who is going to put up so graciously with my trying to learn a line dance without a lesson now but I'll figure it out.)
I'm not saying you can't be unhappy...it's going to happen, seriously "shit happens" and you add other humans into your human equation and well it could get real ugly.... I'm not saying its necessarily wrong to complain..but at least try to think about it before you do it for some people complaining is as natural as breathing and they don't even know they are doing it. Nor do they realize the effect negativity has on the people they come into contact with.
Maybe doing it on such a public front like face book isn't the best choice in the world either..(I'm such a hypocrite but I'm working on it...always working)...I don't know what is going on behind the scenes of some peoples life, I know mine, and it's not a cakewalk but its still wonderful because after all it's life...and it's all I really got and even that could be taken away
just.like.that. (honestly I think I'm in shock)
Be aware of your words, start there get use to thinking about them and then work on your thoughts before they even become words...and who knows one day you might....one day the world might be better for it...someday you are going to have last words. Chose wisely.
"from the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks" Luke 6:46
It's a beautiful mess... I'm a beautiful mess....thank you Jesus for your unending love and Amazing Grace.