Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Keys to the Kingdom.

For as far back as I can remember I've never felt stressed, though often enough I knew that I should...and I knew that I was...

but my body...it tells me I'm stressed and now that I finally understand..Stress is the reason for my insomnia through my first year of college..the eye twitch through senior year of college and the insomnia (not as bad but through out college at WLC)

The cramps that sent me to the ER 4 days before my wedding while I was on crutches and had to stop working about 2 weeks before originally planed....The same cramps the night I thought I had lost my brother...

It always starts the same...it starts with a sudden inability to sleep at night, to sleep soundly and peacefully to fall asleep. my body starts aching...and the thought of laying down makes me groan...

last week

The eye twitch follows next, probably because I'm tired and straining myself...

this week...

and probably closer to the end of summer....the cramps..

but I have something I never had before, I know what these things are, I know what they mean, and I know that I have the ability to hopefully not let it get out of hand...

Because I am excited, I am blessed and in about 108 days I will again pack, move, change jobs, income levels, and locations, churches....because after two years God decided it was time for us to step through the doors he had until this point been holding closed until we were sifted, torn, healed, and ready to be the proof of his love....somewhere else...where he knows we won't have as much church support, where he knows we will have less money, less space, and less time with each other...

Where he knows and promises..."this is my path...whether you turn to the right or the left...walk in it.."

I am stressed, and

I.am.full.of.hope.

hope in my future, hope in this world...

I am poring myself a tall glass of Jesus and I'm drinking in the life he sends down to me....As the weather changes, and summer comes...I have the choice, to act according to the way I feel or act according to the way God commands...So insomnia my old friend, my body might let you back into my life, but God's got the keys to the kingdom that he plans to give me....AMEN

1 comment:

  1. I do the same thing! I don't even realize I'm stressed until I get cramps or suddenly vomit for no reason. Not big on the self-awareness, I guess.

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