Sunday, January 8, 2012


Today I had the wonderful privilege to hang out with Jen and Angel and their kids...

Just when I was not feeling so strongly about needing a child....just when I was okay with waiting on God's timing. Just when I thought I had finished that battle. Just trying to do something nice for a friend.

But it hurt, and it's okay I know, I felt like this before Angel got married and I didn't even have a date in site. I felt like i was being left behind, left out, and that because of that I was going to lose Angel to Jen....and I'm always just behind. I'm so selfish, it hurts me but I know and I'm God's. I was wrong then, I'm wrong now.

I just needed to get that out.

Monday, January 2, 2012

I don't know about anyone else but sometimes I get thoughts or feelings or a still small voice. Feels like something is on my heart and it's always a specific person who you haven't thought of in a while that pops into my mind. Followed closely by an overwhelming urge that they need prayer. Like if I don't stop and pray for them right then I won't be able to take my next breath. Sometimes it almost makes me cry. Sometimes I feel like I should reach out, other times prayer is enough. Usually when I reach out it was welcomed and needed so I can only assume when I pray it is needed as well. Tonight, I prayed for Jonathan in China. I pray for him every night but this was different this was pray now and pray hard he needs help.

I like it when I can see the results of prayer, I don't need to see them to know they are heard and they work but it's nice when you see the results...and it's scary but I have a feeling his guardian beings post and my prayer all coincide if that's the case I think I need to go thank God. What power there is in prayer. Praise the Lord.